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Unfortunate divorce

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Remus1956
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Unfortunate divorce

#1 Post by Remus1956 » Fri Sep 06, 2019 12:02 pm

Been a while since I posted here. Going through a divorce and figured this place would be a good place to talk to people who understand me. Everything is going ok I guess, last court session is in October. I see my 7 year old daughter almost every other day so that's good. Being cheated on is hard but I have moved on from this in ways, but as you other dads here know its hard to see that your life will be potentially alone and just taking care of your child and living life post marriage. I have many supportive friends that keep me quite busy, and a particular friend that is changing her opinion on me that I am now going to be available and wants to explore a future with me....that being something that I wasn't expecting. Hard parts is coming home to an empty house and photos/videos of my little one playing or saying things like "i love you daddy" and I have an empty house and her bedroom that sits empty when she is not here. I see her for 3 days during the week, and get 2 weekends a month where she stays with me from friday through sunday....like this weekend...I cant wait for her to get here. I still am heavily into my surplus rifle collection, but now mainly fixed on my visits from my little one.

I know this happens to many people in life and it looks like it happened to me. Just thought I would put this message out there for those going through this kind of thing and that they know its not something that they are going through alone.

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Re: Unfortunate divorce

#2 Post by Charles Lipscomb » Fri Sep 06, 2019 2:09 pm

Sorry to read about anyone going through this.
Never married. But never dated either. Never had a chance.
That said any advice i have is based on watching other people ho through breakups..
Stay the good guy. Be polite to the ex. Keep it civil. Don't trash talk the ex around your kid. She will figure it out in the future.
I got no advice on dating. Any woman i have ever been interested in has me in the friendzone 10 seconds after meeting me.
Put up new pics of your daughter with new memories.
Avoid self pity. Avoid whinning.
I don't say that to be mean, or as commentary on this post. But i have been crippled since i was 12.
I watched a movie "leave yesturday behind", abc movie of the week. It was just about the Only information i learned about what my future would look like in a wheelchair. The guy wallowed in pity, drove away his friends.
I don't think i was headed down that road, but the film may well have helped me avoid that.
But do have a good friend you can bitch to. It helps to vent once in a while.
I wish you the best.
" The beatings will continue until morale improves."
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Re: Unfortunate divorce

#3 Post by sowbelle » Fri Sep 06, 2019 3:57 pm

Charles is correct in his advice.
It is ok to be angry, but not in front of the child.
And remember one thing, you never know for a fact thatyour best days
are behind you. They are in front of you. Every time your child comes
over.

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Re: Unfortunate divorce

#4 Post by Ghoulardi » Fri Sep 06, 2019 4:12 pm

Remus1956 wrote:
Fri Sep 06, 2019 12:02 pm
and a particular friend that is changing her opinion on me that I am now going to be available and wants to explore a future with me.
DON'T MAKE THE SAME STUPID MISTAKE AGAIN!!!
COOL IT WITH THE BOOM-BOOMS!! OVA-DAY!!

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Re: Unfortunate divorce

#5 Post by Polock » Fri Sep 06, 2019 5:57 pm

What he said! It is too easy to start questioning your manhood/attraction to other women--do not make the mistake of going from the frying pan into the fire. Stop and take some time before entering into another relationship---
"I have never seen a situation so desperate that the arrival of a policeman did not make worse"
Brendan Behan, Irish poet

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Re: Unfortunate divorce

#6 Post by Ghoulardi » Fri Sep 06, 2019 8:11 pm

FORGET RELATIONSHIPS !!!! it's the plague and eventually will destroy and ruin you finically as well as emotionally. unless you are some kind of sick masochist that just craves being broke and emotional devastated.

the b^tch cheated on you and she's happy as a clam, while you are all "boo-hoo-hoo I'm coming home to an empty house" :roll: so I'm going on a gun board to cry about it and get some sympathy. well you won't get any sympathy from me.

I'm going to give the advice you need, get out there and have fun, don't let this B^tch turn you into sniveling pile of blubbering DNA


I've been where you are 38 years ago. it only took that one time for me not to ever get into another relationship. from then on there I screwed them and moved on, not get emotional entangle with them. you know what I have? my own house that's paid for, money in the bank, can come and go as I please without getting the third degree or the drama that comes with it, such as "we need to...…….we need a...……...we should...…….you need to...……why is it that you...……....when was the last time...………etc..... etc...…..etc......."

no amount of pu$$y is worth that!!! women are like succubus, they'll suck the life and bank account right out of you, and not in a good way!!

if I want to get my "stick wet" there is a lot of women out there that will do that, for FREE without the emotional baggage that comes with it. granted some look better in the doggie style :lol: but still, a wet stick is a wet stick :D


best advice came from a group called KISS...…….love 'em and leave 'em


the ball is in your court you either can go for it and live, or go to the locker room and cry yer little eyes out......boo-hoo-hoo whoa is me, whoa is me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmPSoyCwutU




"Love 'Em And Leave 'Em" lyrics

My limousine is a-waitin'
And I see you comin' my way, hey, hey, hey
I'm sittin' by the window
And you ask me which hotel I stay in
Well, make a reservation
Between the hours of ten and two, how do you do
You've got the time to remember
I've gotta slick proposition you
There's nothing else I'd rather do
So you lift your dress
You wanna impress
There's one thing I've got to confess
Love 'em, leave 'em, love 'em, leave 'em
Love 'em, leave 'em, love 'em, leave 'em, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Mmm, so I give you my number
You say you will see me tonight
You just have to remember
Check with me if it's alright
You wanna sit in my driver's seat
If you do it's alright with me
I've got to hand it to you, baby
You know what a girl's gotta do
There's nothing else I'd rather do
With you, but I, but I
Love 'em, leave 'em, love 'em, leave 'em
Love 'em, leave 'em

Love 'em, leave 'em, love 'em, leave 'em
Love 'em, leave 'em, love 'em, leave 'em, yeah
Love 'em, leave 'em, love 'em, leave 'em, yeah
Love 'em, leave 'em, love 'em, leave 'em
Love 'em, leave 'em, love 'em, leave 'em, yeah
Love 'em, leave 'em, love 'em, leave 'em
Love 'em, leave 'em, love 'em, leave 'em, yeah
Love 'em, leave 'em
COOL IT WITH THE BOOM-BOOMS!! OVA-DAY!!

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Remus1956
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Re: Unfortunate divorce

#7 Post by Remus1956 » Sat Sep 07, 2019 1:16 am

Charles Lipscomb wrote:
Fri Sep 06, 2019 2:09 pm
I wish you the best.
Hey Charles...thanks man...seriously made my day reading your message! Been doing as you mentioned...polite and civil. I really appreciate the kind words. I will have to check that movie out, great recommendation. You reminded me that even if its hard its not as hard as someone else can have it, appreciate being brought back to reality anytime I can. Thanks man.
sowbelle wrote:
Fri Sep 06, 2019 3:57 pm
And remember one thing, you never know for a fact thatyour best days
are behind you. They are in front of you. Every time your child comes
over.
Hey sowbelle...been a while. Yeah this is my life, and I will make it. Haha...every time I get my little one here I am playing with toys and wearing a tiara on my head...best life is being a great dad.
Polock wrote:
Fri Sep 06, 2019 5:57 pm
What he said! It is too easy to start questioning your manhood/attraction to other women--do not make the mistake of going from the frying pan into the fire. Stop and take some time before entering into another relationship---
Totally understand that! Haha...yeah its hard to not self doubt but I think after a year I am getting settled in the idea that I will be ok, and that anything that comes my way will be met with stark criticism and evaluation. It seriously took over 6 months for me to even invite a friend over the house haha...no joke. Now I am trying to enjoy my life and enjoy my friendships. I am not a person who is impulsive, so keeping my mind clean and just being a dad for now.
Ghoulardi wrote:
Fri Sep 06, 2019 8:11 pm
FORGET RELATIONSHIPS !!!! it's the plague and eventually will destroy and ruin you finically as well as emotionally. unless you are some kind of sick masochist that just craves being broke and emotional devastated.

the b^tch cheated on you and she's happy as a clam, while you are all "boo-hoo-hoo I'm coming home to an empty house" :roll: so I'm going on a gun board to cry about it and get some sympathy. well you won't get any sympathy from me.

I'm going to give the advice you need, get out there and have fun, don't let this B^tch turn you into sniveling pile of blubbering DNA
OMG hahahahaha you really busted my sides open with laughing at this message. Dude you are awesome. Song added to playlist. Totally what I needed to hear man....totally agree with you. I always appreciated two things in life...being chewed out and running into walls until I learned. I always learned from both situations, and definitely appreciate directness. Thanks man...

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Re: Unfortunate divorce

#8 Post by Charles Lipscomb » Sat Sep 07, 2019 2:24 am

I watched the movie a few times between 1978 - 81. Local abc station ran it late nights.
I spent years watching for it on cable. Finally found it online last year. Just as i remembered it.
It nailed a lot about being newly crippled. It was the only education i got on sex and disability.
I was afraid my willie woukd fail me like my legs. But mine wasn't a spinal injury so no worry there.
It did set me up for false expectations of finding a chick with a thing for
A guy in wheelchair though.
Let me know what you think of the film. And tge original commercials. :)
https://youtu.be/Ow4WTK-f-o4
" The beatings will continue until morale improves."
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Re: Unfortunate divorce

#9 Post by Ghoulardi » Sat Sep 07, 2019 3:00 am

Remus1956 wrote:
Sat Sep 07, 2019 1:16 am

OMG hahahahaha you really busted my sides open with laughing at this message. Dude you are awesome. Song added to playlist. Totally what I needed to hear man....totally agree with you. I always appreciated two things in life...being chewed out and running into walls until I learned. I always learned from both situations, and definitely appreciate directness. Thanks man...
you're welcome :)


that's what it took for me to snap out of it, a buddy "layng down the law", except I was more kind to you then he was to me, but that is what it took for me in opened my eyes after a couple of months of moopping around.

like I said that was 38 years ago, and anytime a women even hinting about a relationship, I bailed out faster then people in a burning building, without saying so much as a good-bye then went onto the next, then the next, and the next.

it's much better being a "man whore"; A promiscuous man who has no regard for his sexual partners or the emotional value of his relationships.
COOL IT WITH THE BOOM-BOOMS!! OVA-DAY!!

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Re: Unfortunate divorce

#10 Post by Remus1956 » Mon Sep 09, 2019 11:08 pm

Charles Lipscomb wrote:
Sat Sep 07, 2019 2:24 am
Let me know what you think of the film. And tge original commercials. :)
https://youtu.be/Ow4WTK-f-o4
Hey Charles thanks man. Tomorrow I will have some time to myself and plan on giving this one a whirl. Definitely appreciate the sharing of the link. Much appreciated. You didn't have to share, so I appreciate the words and effort.
Ghoulardi wrote:
Sat Sep 07, 2019 3:00 am
you're welcome :)


that's what it took for me to snap out of it, a buddy "layng down the law", except I was more kind to you then he was to me, but that is what it took for me in opened my eyes after a couple of months of moopping around.

like I said that was 38 years ago, and anytime a women even hinting about a relationship, I bailed out faster then people in a burning building, without saying so much as a good-bye then went onto the next, then the next, and the next.

it's much better being a "man whore"; A promiscuous man who has no regard for his sexual partners or the emotional value of his relationships.
Sometimes you need a swift kick in the posterior, and sometimes you need two. As you know its a daily challenge with surprises, but in the end I think I will do okay. Hahaha...I can't imagine it but been a good year of learning a lot about myself and what life means post. I really appreciate it.

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Re: Unfortunate divorce

#11 Post by vandle » Mon Sep 09, 2019 11:57 pm

Just coming through to the end of me finalising my divorce, yeah you fell crap at the beginning but time heals and now you don't have anyone telling you you can't buy that gun you wanted.
Best of all you have your kid and thats the most priceless thing you will ever have, thats what got me through mine.
Life is tough, tougher if your stupid

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Re: Unfortunate divorce

#12 Post by Remus1956 » Tue Sep 10, 2019 11:31 pm

vandle wrote:
Mon Sep 09, 2019 11:57 pm
Just coming through to the end of me finalising my divorce, yeah you fell crap at the beginning but time heals and now you don't have anyone telling you you can't buy that gun you wanted.
Best of all you have your kid and thats the most priceless thing you will ever have, thats what got me through mine.
Thanks man...hard looking at my m1 Garand collection and saying "which can I ditch?" my little one is the best.

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Re: Unfortunate divorce

#13 Post by tired bear » Wed Sep 11, 2019 2:31 pm

They're absolutely right about the best years being ahead of you. My first marriage lasted 17 years before I destroyed it by being immature and selfish. I didn't rush into any new relationship but stayed to myself, living alone and sorting out all the stupid things I'd done to my wife who was, and still is, a magnificent person and a good friend. I stayed alone for 11 years until I met my current wife who is the type not to tolerate any stupidity on my part. We've been married 23 years now thanks to a loving God who's seen to it I don't repeat the old mistakes and keeps me on the straight and narrow. I got a second chance at life by being patient and listening for His advice and I'm eternally grateful.
182+ posts before the old forum crashed. :violin:

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